btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My penis needs a shock collar
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize