Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
