Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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