The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
