PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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