that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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