I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
