well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
pray to the hookup gods
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize