I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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