I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
