My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
