sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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