everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
