I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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