It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
