Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
