he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
