I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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