We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
