No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize