Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize