I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
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