its not stalking. its research.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
