So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
