Banned from zoo.
Again?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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