The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
