The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
