I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
