Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
