I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
