when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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