Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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