WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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