Farmville is her only friend.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I AM VODKA MAN
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
