He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
