he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
