i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My vagina just recognized that song.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
