I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
