I'm pants shitting drunk right now
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
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You slow clapped the stripper last night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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