My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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