I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
its not stalking. its research.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
