The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm too high and old for this...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
