come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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