I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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