oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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