Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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