I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
