It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Umm I'm too high to move.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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