I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
