Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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