K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
