hotel room ftw
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
