I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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