walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
