i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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