you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
