May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
