I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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