What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
