Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
